Ear Worms

So I promised a post about writing of a time my preference changed. Specifically from a song I hated to a song I liked, but honestly, writing about Carly Rae Jepson's "Call Me Maybe" didn't really fit the requirements because I still dislike the song. So, instead I'll write about a song I absolutely LOVED that turned into a song I turn away from.

I'm sure you've heard Bastille's song "Pompeii" during the time it was extremely popular. If not, here it is.

I remember I loved the song because of the lead singer's unique singing style. He is British, and you know me, I love the Brits. But seriously though, as a singer, we are taught to sing without an accent, and typically people do lose their accents while singing. I believe that was a HUGE reason why I loved this song. I thought it gave a unique style to it. Another reason why I really loved to sing with the song was the introduction. The very first thing you hear is strong, loud, chanting. It just set an image of ancient Rome, specifically Pompeii, and a large, rowdy crowd of soldiers about to fight.

It wasn't until it started becoming well known that I started to dislike it.

I remember I had shared this song with a certain friend before it had gotten popular, and we were saying the typical "I knew this before it was famous" stuff. Later on in the year I started dating this friend. You remember when giving mixtapes was a thing for couples right? Well, this song was kind of like that. It wasn't until three weeks after we started dating that I found out he was bipolar... and then the manic periods came along. It was very hard for me to cheer him up when he became sad or frustrated, and I always thought about the lyrics "How am I going to be an optimist about this?" repeated in the song and how it fit him so well. After a painful year of going through his manic states and apologies, and multiple times of breaking it off, and forgiveness, I grew to dislike the song.
Eventually the rowdy chanting I once loved became a warning, like the war that the romans were about to fight in were towards me, just like the actual fights with him were. Then it became unbearable for me to listen to this song at all, without thinking of the bad memories of my friend and I fighting and the silent treatments that lingered.

When we had split up, the song was still popular on the radio. I couldn't stand to listen to it, triggering the memories I had with it. It was very hard for me to listen to the radio. Honestly, since that happened last year, I haven't really listened to the radio since. I don't even know when the song had faded away.

Looking back, I wished I hadn't associated the song with those memories, because I truly did enjoy the song. I have the album and some of Bastille's other songs, and I listen to them, and I am fine. The memories are only triggered when I listen to that specific song.

Today, I can still feel the anxiety and the feeling of walking on eggshells when I listen to this song. But while I am listening, I still appreciate the creativeness of the lyrics and the musicality of it. It is hard not to dislike it, with the catchy tune that sticks in your head. I actually believe that when a song keeps playing over and over in your head  is called "Ear Worms" in the UK.
I just hope that while I have this Ear Worm I can get the sense of normality back and enjoy it when I relax.